I often give myself a hard time about my age. I turned 30 this year, and I sometimes put myself through the cruel process of thinking about all the great things done by people under 30s. All the achievements of those dead and buried in the 27 club.
But the real problem is this; I don't really feel like a grown-up. I feel young, and very uncertain about the world. But I think I have gotten a clue.
As a person disabled from birth, you don't get to engage in adulthood properly.
Day to day experience often never change throughout your whole life. You're familiar with a concerned adult watching over a toddler. "He's gonna fall over!", "Is he alright with that?" that sort of thing.
That doesn't stop just because you get older, not when you're disabled. I'm surrounded by people making a fuss. I'm always gonna fall over if I'm not careful. I'm always gonna hurt myself. I always won't be able to do that.
I always need help with that.
Sound ungrateful? It is. I don't appreciate the fuss at all.
Trouble is, you try to get on with things. When you can't manage, suddenly your using your disability.
I often feel like it's lose/lose. You're stuck between being made to feel like a child, and being made to feel like you're trying to take advantage of people.
It's hard being young(ish) and disabled. Disabled is something that only happens to the elderly. The angry stares I get in car parks prove that. Yes, I'm wearing a hoody; Yes, I drive a kinda pimped 20-something's car, and yes, I am entitled to this Blue Badge. Please stop staring. There are young people in this country with disabilities, no matter how difficult that seems to comprehend.
This may just read as bitterness to some non-disabled people. Is it just me? I've spoken to so many interesting (young!) people with disabilities via twitter lately; please, share your experiences. It'll help us both...
Wednesday, 26 September 2012
Friday, 21 September 2012
The Never-Ending Saga Of ESA
Okay, so this post is mainly for the benefit of fellow Sparticans.
Over a month ago I recieved a letter saying I'd been placed in the Work-Focused Activity Group. No medical, presumably because on the form I told them to put me in WFAG. Why did I do that? I'm very able in some areas (as I hope the existence of this website proves) and I hate medicals (who doesn't?). Figured I could save them a few quid on that one.
Since then I've been waiting patiently. I've heard nothing. I decided I'd give the DWP a call. The guy on the phone was very reassuring that I shouldn't worry, and they'd be in touch all in good time... somewhat missing the point of my call.
I'm in the Work-Focused Activity Group. Case closed. Shall we crack on with it, then?
He was absolutely gobsmacked that I was pressing him impatiently as to what happens next. When asked how long this part of the process normally takes, he said excitedly "I've never heard anyone say they actually WANT to go for the interview before!". I was clearly pushing boundaries. A disabled person who wants to work. Imagine. He typed excitedly as I told him that I felt positive about what I might be able to do, and that I wanted support in getting work. Why is this a big deal? They're supposed to be helping us, aren't they?
They're going to call me today. How long would I have waited if I hadn't called them?
My point is this; we're all being made to feel that we're going to be forced to go out to work at the earliest opportunity. Meanwhile, the Job Centre aren't rushing. This could have been months in limbo, had I not pushed them. Is the gap between the ESA claim and WFAG interviews just another place to be left waiting on benefits? If the dwp and the government are so keen to help us work, perhaps they should start delivering on that, yeah?
>>>UPDATED<<<
They just called me back. Apparently if I want an appointment I need to call my local Jobcentre; they don't actually book them. Sorry; if I want an appointment then I need to book one? WTF?
Over a month ago I recieved a letter saying I'd been placed in the Work-Focused Activity Group. No medical, presumably because on the form I told them to put me in WFAG. Why did I do that? I'm very able in some areas (as I hope the existence of this website proves) and I hate medicals (who doesn't?). Figured I could save them a few quid on that one.
Since then I've been waiting patiently. I've heard nothing. I decided I'd give the DWP a call. The guy on the phone was very reassuring that I shouldn't worry, and they'd be in touch all in good time... somewhat missing the point of my call.
I'm in the Work-Focused Activity Group. Case closed. Shall we crack on with it, then?
He was absolutely gobsmacked that I was pressing him impatiently as to what happens next. When asked how long this part of the process normally takes, he said excitedly "I've never heard anyone say they actually WANT to go for the interview before!". I was clearly pushing boundaries. A disabled person who wants to work. Imagine. He typed excitedly as I told him that I felt positive about what I might be able to do, and that I wanted support in getting work. Why is this a big deal? They're supposed to be helping us, aren't they?
They're going to call me today. How long would I have waited if I hadn't called them?
My point is this; we're all being made to feel that we're going to be forced to go out to work at the earliest opportunity. Meanwhile, the Job Centre aren't rushing. This could have been months in limbo, had I not pushed them. Is the gap between the ESA claim and WFAG interviews just another place to be left waiting on benefits? If the dwp and the government are so keen to help us work, perhaps they should start delivering on that, yeah?
>>>UPDATED<<<
They just called me back. Apparently if I want an appointment I need to call my local Jobcentre; they don't actually book them. Sorry; if I want an appointment then I need to book one? WTF?
Tuesday, 11 September 2012
What I Hope We Can Really Take From The Paralympics.
DISCLAIMER: Not Proofed Yet; just wanted to get it out there. Expect rambling, typos and other offences.
It's fair to say that the Paralympics have been kind of a big deal to me. Time will tell, I guess, but right now it feels like it could be life-changing stuff.
I'm not exaggerating. My perspective on disability has been totally shifted by the events of the last ten days. I'm not alone, either. I'm glad to hear from so many non-disabled people that their attitudes are changing too, but for me, the most important thing is how the attitudes within the disabled community could change too. Right now, I just want the whole world to feel as inspired as I do. Forgive me, I'm still so excited by it all. Not everybody shares my enthusiasm, I know.
Not surprisingly, with the word 'disabled' being used so much on television, it's no surprise that some offence has been caused. A common idea is questioning the word itself.
Krishnan Guru-Murthy came under fire last night on twitter for voicing his view that the word 'disabled' seems like it might be redundant, a sympathy that Simon Pegg also shared and was subsequently attacked for. I see the issue here; it may seem insensitive, but I consider the other side of this. When Oscar Pistorius steps onto the track, we are seeing a man whom by any current definition is disabled. Yet, he's at the peak of his physical fitness, and one of the most celebrated athletes in the world. He displays seamingly superhuman capabilities; the word 'disabled' seems so ugly and inappropriate.
Sir Philip Craven, president of the International Paralympic Committee gave an impassioned but controversial argument for why the word desabled should be redundant. Backlash to this idea was strong; many disabled people saw Craven as a 'disability denier'. Cries of "Deny my disability, deny ME!" rang through twitter that evening; a sentiment I cannot identify with. I just don't want to see disability as an absolute ceiling to achievement any more. That's just me, and I'm probably more than a little quixotic. Whatever, I need the optimism right now.
I follow a lot of people who talk about disability on twitter, and I'm saddened by one aspect of the commentary. A lot of people are protesting that we "can't ALL be like that" i.e. "superhuman" athletes. I really feel this is missing the beauty of what the Paralympians have achieved. No, we can't all be athletes, and even fewer people will actually want to, but surely the thing to take from all this is about breaking down preconceptions? I've seen do things I couldn't imagine doing, with conditions similar (and in some cases more severe) than my own.
One worry I do have is that the government will use this as a kind of pep-talk for disabled people, that we should follow by example. That will of course be insincere spin. The government's perception of success for disabled people will surely be just to 'prove' that it's Back To Work initiative works. 'Be like a paralympian, go and prove you can work!" - you can almost gaurantee that this kind of patronizing spiel will come from a Tory very soon...
It's fair to say that the Paralympics have been kind of a big deal to me. Time will tell, I guess, but right now it feels like it could be life-changing stuff.
I'm not exaggerating. My perspective on disability has been totally shifted by the events of the last ten days. I'm not alone, either. I'm glad to hear from so many non-disabled people that their attitudes are changing too, but for me, the most important thing is how the attitudes within the disabled community could change too. Right now, I just want the whole world to feel as inspired as I do. Forgive me, I'm still so excited by it all. Not everybody shares my enthusiasm, I know.
Not surprisingly, with the word 'disabled' being used so much on television, it's no surprise that some offence has been caused. A common idea is questioning the word itself.
Krishnan Guru-Murthy came under fire last night on twitter for voicing his view that the word 'disabled' seems like it might be redundant, a sympathy that Simon Pegg also shared and was subsequently attacked for. I see the issue here; it may seem insensitive, but I consider the other side of this. When Oscar Pistorius steps onto the track, we are seeing a man whom by any current definition is disabled. Yet, he's at the peak of his physical fitness, and one of the most celebrated athletes in the world. He displays seamingly superhuman capabilities; the word 'disabled' seems so ugly and inappropriate.
Sir Philip Craven, president of the International Paralympic Committee gave an impassioned but controversial argument for why the word desabled should be redundant. Backlash to this idea was strong; many disabled people saw Craven as a 'disability denier'. Cries of "Deny my disability, deny ME!" rang through twitter that evening; a sentiment I cannot identify with. I just don't want to see disability as an absolute ceiling to achievement any more. That's just me, and I'm probably more than a little quixotic. Whatever, I need the optimism right now.
I follow a lot of people who talk about disability on twitter, and I'm saddened by one aspect of the commentary. A lot of people are protesting that we "can't ALL be like that" i.e. "superhuman" athletes. I really feel this is missing the beauty of what the Paralympians have achieved. No, we can't all be athletes, and even fewer people will actually want to, but surely the thing to take from all this is about breaking down preconceptions? I've seen do things I couldn't imagine doing, with conditions similar (and in some cases more severe) than my own.
One worry I do have is that the government will use this as a kind of pep-talk for disabled people, that we should follow by example. That will of course be insincere spin. The government's perception of success for disabled people will surely be just to 'prove' that it's Back To Work initiative works. 'Be like a paralympian, go and prove you can work!" - you can almost gaurantee that this kind of patronizing spiel will come from a Tory very soon...
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