An Age Thing.

I often give myself a hard time about my age. I turned 30 this year, and I sometimes put myself through the cruel process of thinking about all the great things done by people under 30s. All the achievements of those dead and buried in the 27 club.

But the real problem is this; I don't really feel like a grown-up. I feel young, and very uncertain about the world. But I think I have gotten a clue.

As a person disabled from birth, you don't get to engage in adulthood properly.

Day to day experience often never change throughout your whole life. You're familiar with a concerned adult watching over a toddler. "He's gonna fall over!", "Is he alright with that?" that sort of thing.

That doesn't stop just because you get older, not when you're disabled. I'm surrounded by people making a fuss. I'm always gonna fall over if I'm not careful. I'm always gonna hurt myself. I always won't be able to do that.

I always need help with that.

Sound ungrateful? It is. I don't appreciate the fuss at all.

Trouble is, you try to get on with things. When you can't manage, suddenly your using your disability.

I often feel like it's lose/lose. You're stuck between being made to feel like a child, and being made to feel like you're trying to take advantage of people.

It's hard being young(ish) and disabled. Disabled is something that only happens to the elderly. The angry stares I get in car parks prove that. Yes, I'm wearing a hoody; Yes, I drive a kinda pimped 20-something's car, and yes, I am entitled to this Blue Badge. Please stop staring. There are young people in this country with disabilities, no matter how difficult that seems to comprehend.

This may just read as bitterness to some non-disabled people. Is it just me? I've spoken to so many interesting (young!) people with disabilities via twitter lately; please, share your experiences. It'll help us both...