Sunday, 12 May 2013

I Am Falling Apart. Literally.

My body has had about enough. I'm fine, but my body feels like it's ready to be shut down. Mostly, I feel like I'm going to crumble into several pieces on the floor.

I went to the gym today. I need do that a lot, mainly to maintain mobility. I've been majorly slacking on it. I'm paying a heavy price at the minute. That meant literally, too.

I weighed myself. My BMI is now hitting 29.4. I'm seriously close to being considered obese. WTF? I don't look that fat, surely? I don't feel good, whatever.

I used to feel like I couldn't be too healthy, in case I jeopardised my DLA. Interesting convo with tweeps the other day on all this.  I'm not alone on this one. How fucked up is that? To think that you can't try too hard to manage your condition, in case it's used against you. I'm not having it. I'm not going to allow myself to feel like shit for fear of what the DWP could do to me. That's too crazy. I'm going to do everything I can to get as healthy as I can. Starting from... now. Honestly, I'll be in a wheelchair within a year if I don't.

It's really hard, of course. Sufficient spoons to exercise are few and far between. I REALLY have to force myself to work out. On top of the music thing (which I barely have the spoons for at the moment) it's near impossible to THEN go to the gym. I keep telling myself it should be easier. It's not getting any easier.

Those of you who also have mobility issues; how are you managing it?

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